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Fail Better

The project I'm working on has a number of elements. It began as a few ideas, which at the time felt like too few, and too simple. I've learned that ideas mature if you sit on them for a while; also that although the initial pieces of work are often made to be abandoned, it's a necessary part of a process I call 'first thoughts, second thoughts, third thoughts' - as the thinking about it deepens.

Since last writing, I've got through the fear and the "what's the point?" moments, which are total cripplers. Note to self: the point is irrelevant. Making is the thing that I have to give. It's also my voice and there are things I want to say.

As I work, new ideas arrive - they are noted and now put to one side for later. Those first few ideas led me into new and unfamiliar ways of working. Starting on several new pieces at once, I lost focus and felt overwhelmed. The plan now is to get one element at a time sorted so each one can be ongoing as I work out the next bit. At the same time, the tucked-away ideas can be simmering gently.

The first of the ongoing ideas is Bees.

It now seems as if it all came 'right' almost immediately, but my notebook reminds me it was weeks of trying different colours for the printing and various fabrics / threads. Admittedly I was working very slowly. Muslin was my first choice but it's too soft - organdie worked perfectly. Eventually it did come together and when I hung the first finished panels, the effect was what I'd hoped for ... the ghosts of bees.

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