Nine months ago I abandoned an idea that I'd been working on since early 2023 - I had been reflecting on what women have done to themselves to change their appearance and shape in order to conform to cultural ideals of beauty. As I often do, I started with collecting images and many hours of internet searching later I had boards full of images and notes; a sprawling confusion of connections on to which I struggled to impose coherence.
The few pieces I made led only to a dead
end.
What had snagged my attention most were the ancient figurines of females with accentuated breasts and buttocks. The function of the earliest ones is unknown; possibly they were associated with fertility rites - or were they an icon of the abundance necessary for survival? Later figures from the Iron Age onwards have been identified as Goddesses such as Astarte, Asherah and Inanna.
The clay shrines like those found at Khirbet Qeiyafa and elsewhere also fascinated me and I could have listened harder to that.
In the end I threw away all the notes and most of the images but the idea would not let me go, even though I talked out loud to its insistent whispering, asking it to either go away or come into clear focus.
Looking back, the mistake I made was wanting to make it into a big project - a deep and meaningful statement.
Over the past few months I've been working in an unplanned, seemingly random way, following a thread to whatever came up next, in a loose connection of ideas. (see previous post)
I see now that far from being aimless, it served as a reminder that one idea leads to another and as you're working on one piece, the next one is often beginning to arrive in your mind. It was also a lesson in following what ignites the energy of your interest/curiosity - which is the beginning of engagement.
And it was longing for engagement that brought me back.
Then I did it AGAIN .... dived into timelines, dates, maps tracing the cultural influences from the Fertile Crescent. Of course, going nowhere. Big Eye Roll.
My go-to when feeling stuck is drawing and that brought me 'home' because it's shape of things that pulls me in. My hands can almost feel themselves shaping the forms.
In her book "The Creative Habit" Twyla Tharp writes about setting an intention for your work and 'intention' has been cropping up elsewhere recently as a way of defining the specific action you will take. (is it a bit of a current buzzword?)
In terms of creative work there is the caveat that plans remain open enough to let in those flashes of insight that can arrive suddenly and alter the trajectory of the work.
Another thing she says is that it's better to start with little ideas - they are more likely to get you started ... and little ideas can join up to make bigger ones.
For now my intention is to work with the shapes of the figurines and to see where that takes me.
Head of a Syrian Goddess figure in card, paper and paint.
A final thought - we talk of looking for ideas; sometimes I'm not sure if it isn't the other way around - that ideas look for us; for willing hosts.
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